BY Christian Warren Freed
Remember the days when raw excitement flowed through our veins? When it was difficult to sleep the night before as we wondered what we were going to get or who was giving us that special treat? I do (vaguely). Valentine’s Day as a child used to be a non-stressful time when every kid in class knew we were getting a paper bag of Valentine’s cards, candies, pencils, and more. No one was left out and we all enjoyed the mirth and happiness of sitting through homeroom exchanging our cards.
Those were simpler times. Back before the internet and the need to showcase every trivial aspect of our lives. When we’d ride our bikes to each other’s homes and knew to be back by sundown. Now, I’m sure this was pretty universal, no matter where you grew up. How many of you remember sitting at the table with one or both of your parents as you cut out paper hearts from red construction paper, snatched one of dad’s paper lunch bags, and headed off to school the next morning giddy with excitement?
We all had the special someone we wanted to do a little extra for, even if neither of us understood why or knew it. Close friends always got the best stuff. The one thing we never thought about, leastwise I didn’t, was how much all this cost our parents or what it meant for them to have their children fit in with the others.
Flash forward to the days of being a parent ourselves and we’re playing an entirely different ball game!
Going to school with fewer than 60 people in my grade, it was a chore writing their names on the backs of all the cards, but manageable. I can’t even fathom having to do that for the size of the classes here in Holly Springs. Nor can I imagine the pressure the kids are under to have the coolest cards or best candies. Let’s face it, no one wants to be ‘that kid.’
It seems like so much goes into preparing for Valentine’s Day. The planning process is almost the equivalent of launching a full-scale military operation. The objective: total coolness and the adoration of your classmates for the rest of the year. The tactics vary; after all, every child is unique, but the expected results are well established.
There are two quintessential types of kids when it comes to holiday class projects (or any school project, really). You have the go-getters who have a vision of what they want to create and take charge before you even get out of the car. These are the ones whose creativity flies in the face of the storm. Sure, we interject with the occasional ‘are you sure that’s what you want to do?’ or the nod and smile every parent has ready to deploy on a moment’s notice. (Whether you want to admit it or not)
Then there are the kids willing to sit back and let mom or dad take the reins. By the time the project is complete, the parents are prouder of it than the kids and, like all the important people who are responsible for making great movies, are relegated to staying behind the scenes. Show of hands—how many of you reading this today have scraped dried glue off your fingertips, massaged your cramping hands after endless hours of ensuring your cutouts are just right, or needed to catch up on sleep after setting your child up for success the next day?
As adults, we understand the nuances of Valentine’s Day, but as children? Forget about it! It’s all about who has the coolest cards, the best candy, or… drum roll, please… that one big gift destined to be the envy of the classroom. Our question, as responsible people, is how do we accomplish this on a budget?
Speaking with some of the neighborhood kids, there are clear expectations depending on age and grade level. The younger they are, the more fun they seem to have. Classrooms have small parties filled with cookies, arts and crafts, and plenty of homemade cards. The sugar rush alone from so much candy is worth it.
Of course, the older we get, the less extravagant the celebration. I had the pleasure of interviewing a family who shared their secrets to a successful Valentine’s Day. Gone are the craft projects. No one, and I mean no one, even considers bringing in a homemade heart. Moms are forced to the store where their helpful suggestions are largely ignored as their child rifles through the stacks of cards, gifts, and candies with an experienced eye. Only they know what they’re looking for, so no one had better get in their way!
I imagine we were all that way at some point. Maybe some of us still are. Nowadays, parents also must contend with fancy rubber band bracelets and candy-grams. I don’t recall every hearing about this, but the young lady I spoke to was adamant, practically bursting with excitement, as she described how for a small donation you could purchase a set of cards with candy taped to the back, making you the envy of your class as your name was called and your cards delivered throughout the day.
The stress somehow permeates everything it touches. Children need the best everything. Parents spend time, resources, and more to ensure that happens. Teachers must take time from their daily planners, lesson plans and more to pull off the coup of the month. Let’s not forget being prepared for any child who shows up with nothing to share.
No, friends. This is a day requiring total effort from all three forces. Success is determined by the smiles and giddy chatter as those pesky hard candies with messages are chomped, pencils with all those fancy characters I can’t name due to copyright infringement are sharpened, and parents are shown just how popular their child is in class.
That is total love and it’s a point in kids’ lives they might never experience with such intensity again. Sure, Valentine’s Day is slammed for being a corporate holiday, and maybe it is, but that doesn’t take away from the love and happiness our children get to enjoy while forgetting everything else, even if just for a day.
Perhaps the best part of being a child during Valentine’s Day is the feeling of inclusion. Seeing the unbridled joy on their faces as each and every one of them receives dozens of cards, candy, pencils, and more. This is how life is meant to be. Happy moments that turn into fond memories lasting a lifetime.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or bright-eyed child, take a breath and enjoy this day and the precious moments we all deserve.
No Matter How Things Change, They Stay the Same
