Breast Cancer knows no boundaries when it decides to strike. In fact, according to statistics, one in eight women will develop invasive breast cancer at some point in their life. In 2018 alone, over 200,000 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed. With these staggering numbers, it is virtually impossible to be in a group of women and not find at least one that has been touched by breast cancer in some way.
Statistics are sobering, but when breast cancer invades your family the only number you think about is one. The one person you care the most about who is now facing this dreaded disease. For Anne and Mike Winters this person was their daughter, Kristi.
The oldest of their three children, Kristi was a mother, wife, sister and friend. A graduate of Baylor University and a stellar athlete, Kristi was a math teacher at Apex Middle School and a resident of Holly Springs. She and her husband, Chuck, had 2 young sons, Cade and Mason, and in 2008 they were anticipating the birth of their third son. She was a devoted Christian woman who instilled her beliefs and values in her sons. “When she was on the road and a firetruck or an ambulance would go by, she would stop and pray. She would pray for the workers who were going to help and pray for the person who is injured,” her mother, Anne, recalled. Not only did she pray, but she taught her children to do the same. “Her kids do that. They hear a siren and say ‘it’s time to stop and pray,’” Mike said of his daughter and grandsons. But in October 2008, Kristi was the one they were all praying for.
During her pregnancy with her third son, Kristi began to develop pain in her back and hip. She made her doctor aware of the pain and they in turn sent her to see several specialists. “We went to a neurologist and a chiropractor, and they all just thought it was the baby pushing on her nerve. They weren’t sure which nerve it was, but that was what they thought,” Anne said. As her pregnancy progressed, the pain continued and in her eighth month her doctors were concerned she may have been dehydrated. After doing blood work, doctors believed that Kristi had developed HELLP syndrome. HELLP is a life-threatening pregnancy complication considered to be a variant of preeclampsia. It is the breaking down of red blood cells, elevated liver enzymes and low platelet count. The most definitive treatment for HELLP is delivery of the baby, so that was their next step. In October, 2008, at 8 months pregnant, Kristi gave birth via emergency C-section to her third son, Zane.
After Zane was born, it was expected that Kristi’s symptoms would improve but they didn’t. “Within a couple of days they knew it wasn’t HELLP syndrome,” Anne recalled. After transferring her to UNC Hospital, doctors determined it was not HELLP syndrome but believed it was a different liver disease and that she would recover. Unfortunately, her true illness was yet to be found. Mike recalls the moment they learned Kristi’s diagnosis. “In the time between getting to UNC and thinking it was another liver disease, they had run a bunch of tests and within about an hour we were all sitting in her room and about ten doctors and nurses came in and said ‘you have cancer.’” At that point, the doctors were not sure what type of cancer she had, but within three days of her diagnosis they were told that Kristi had stage 4 breast cancer. Doctors found lesions on her spine, hip, liver and the lining of her brain. This explained the pain she was suffering during her pregnancy, but many questions remained. Why was this so advanced? Why wasn’t this detected earlier? Doctors determined that Kristi’s pregnancy masked the cancer and the hormones associated with the pregnancy fueled the cancer. Hormones that typically bring with it unusual cravings and mood swings, but in the end are a blessing because they are enabling the growth of a healthy child were the same ones that caused the cancer to advance so rapidly.
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fter two weeks in the hospital, Kristi was able to go home. At the time, the family was not aware that doctors wanted to send her home with Hospice care, but before that could happen, there was one remaining doctor that had not given up hope. Dr. Mark Graham, an Oncologist and Hematologist, wanted to have a chance to help Kristi, and he did. After treating Kristi, her cancer cells went from over 400 down to zero as of New Year’s Day, 2009. As miraculous as this was, it just wasn’t enough. Kristi’s liver was so damaged at that point, that her body continued to fill up with fluid and required continuous draining. The cancer had done its damage, despite Dr. Graham’s efforts to beat it. Kristi was able to enjoy her 30th birthday with a traditional family birthday meal at the Angus Barn. Anne recalled that “we got her a pretty new outfit and a beautiful wig, and she ended up back in the hospital that night.” Kristi had developed sepsis, and by the time it was diagnosed, the time to act had already passed.
Kristi passed away on Friday, February 13, 2009, just 4 months after giving birth to her son.
After her death, Anne and Mike were determined to do whatever they could to prevent another family from going through the heartache that they had to endure. Thanks to that determination and with the help of friends and colleagues, Kristi’s Krew was born. On June 13, 2009, exactly four months after her passing, people she knew and people she had never met put on a Carolina blue shirt with a picture of Kristi on the back with the words “Believe, Hope, Cure” written below. Under the leadership of team captain, Sarah Kaufman, Kristi’s Krew participated in its first of many Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure events.
Kristi’s Krew, which is sponsored by the law firm of Ellis & Winters where Mike is a partner, has been the top fundraising team for the Komen NC Triangle to the Coast for most of the nine years it has been in existence. “WRAL beat us that first year, so we set out to beat them the following year, and we did!” Mike said. The healthy competition has helped to fuel the fundraising efforts of Kristi’s Krew and has drawn the attention of people across the country.
The Komen foundation is important to Anne and Mike because it keeps the funds local. Every research dollar sent, comes back in multiples from Komen National. That money goes to local hospitals including Duke, UNC and Wake Forest. In addition to research, money is used for local cancer survivors as well as those that are currently battling the disease. A large focus is on minority communities and providing them with education and awareness. In addition to their amazing fundraising, Mike and other lawyers from his firm have served or are serving in various positions within the Komen organization. For them this isn’t about a race held once each year, it is an ongoing marathon to find a cure and to help save as many lives as possible.
In addition to Kristi’s Krew, Anne and Mike are sponsors for the Pretty in Pink Golf Tournament held each year at Devil’s Ridge Golf Course in Holly Springs. Pretty in Pink is a local organization that helps breast cancer patients who are unable to afford their treatment. On average, the golf tournament has raised $50,000 per year to help fund the Pretty in Pink organization. Mike and Anne, along with Ellis & Winters, have been some of the top fundraisers for this organization for the last several years. If you have ever been to Devil’s Ridge you may recall seeing a pink dogwood tree on hole number three or rose bushes on the number ten tee. These flowering reminders of nature’s beauty are there as a memorial to Kristi. Just one more way that this amazing young woman is touching those she never had the opportunity to meet.
When asked what they thought Kristi would say about the charitable work her family and friends are doing in her name, Mike and Anne agree that she would have been proud. “I think Kristi would appreciate it, I think she would be embarrassed by the attention but I think she would realize it is all to help,” Mike said. A family of profound faith, Mike and Anne have relied on that faith to carry them through a parent’s worst nightmare, the loss of a child. “We believe that even though this fallen world has cancer, God is in control and we have been able to trust Him and have learned how to handle grief,” Anne said. Through her journey, Anne has been able to take what she has learned and has shared the most intimate parts of her story with women who are going through their own struggles in hopes that it will help them find a path for their journey.
Grief is a complicated emotion. Each person handles grief in their own way. Some find distractions so they don’t have to face the reality. Some dwell on it to the point that it is all consuming. And then there are those who take their grief and loss and turn it into a mission. Anne and Mike Winters never expected to become advocates for breast cancer research. They never wanted the credibility to talk to others about grief and loss and how to come out on the other end. They certainly never expected to have the joy of the birth of a new grandson overshadowed by the diagnosis of cancer for his mother. Yet through their pain and heartache, they have found a way to help and to fight for those who may not be able to fight for themselves.
