Drink a green smoothie a day, she said. It will be fun, she said. So that’s what I did; I joined one of those online “30-Day Smoothie Challenges” recently. My sister did it with me. Well, 1,300 miles away in Austin, TX. And let me tell you, I’ve never felt closer. If you’ve ever thought of embarking on one of these kale-laden adventures, I’ll lay it all out for you: the good, the bad, the mediocre…plus green drink hacks that will save you time and frustration. And I promise: no jokes about digestion.
First things first, there’s no getting around it: you need a powerful blender. The key to making these things palatable is getting them super smooth. I know a lot of kitchen appliances simply gather dust, but this isn’t your standard quesadilla maker or vacuum sealer. You’re going to work this thing hard. I’ll admit, I spent several hundred dollars on mine, but I adore it. If the average American family has 2.5 children, .5 is my Vitamix. Look at it this way: you’re committing to 30 days. You know you’re going to use it 30 times. If at the end you decide that the smoothie lifestyle isn’t for you, throw it on one of those Buy/Sell/Trade pages and some other person reading this will snatch it right up. Maybe, like a random act of kindness chain, we can keep it going for years. Wait, that would mean I haven’t convinced you to actually embrace drinking a glass of green every day for the rest of your life. I guess let me get back to that.
Come along with me on this strange, fiber-filled journey.
Day 1: Rather than follow any preordained recipes laid out on the plan I joined, I decided I should probably plow through all the fruits and veggies I’d tossed in my freezer over the past, oh, three months. (Nine.) I don’t know about you, but rather than admit defeat to the ripening process and actually discard produce that’s going bad, I opt for freezing it. Best of both worlds, at least in my non-fruit/veg-eating-former life. I don’t have to eat the stuff, and I don’t have to waste it, either! I can simply chuck it in a really cold box that will delay the inevitable. I’m not a procrastinator in general but I am when it comes to unpleasant experiences, such as chewing and then swallowing celery. You’re starting to see why my sister suggested I do this challenge with her.
Day 3: Still working on the frozen stuff. When you’re assembling your ingredients in the blender of your choosing, start with the liquid. I found that doing so made things smoother overall. Then add vegetables and fruits in a ratio you feel good with. And for goodness’ sake, don’t break out the measuring cups. One of my pet peeves is smoothie recipes that call for 1 cup of this, ½ a cup of that…especially when the ingredients you’re measuring already come portioned out! Why not call for a mango instead of ¾ cup of mango chunks. Right? So when it came to ratios, I did about half and half. Make sure some of it is frozen so that your smoothie isn’t room temperature, thus stimulating a gag reflex, at least for me. The very act of whizzing it all up actually increases its temperature. Physics.
Day 7: OK, finally made it through my frozen reserves and can move on to actual fresh produce. And let me tell you: fresh greens are so much better than frozen, at least when it comes to smoothies. My sister actually freezes her fresh, uncooked spinach. That’s probably the way to go if you buy a massive amount from Costco and don’t want it to go bad. At the pace I’m going, however, there’s no time for green stuff to turn brown in my house. That sure feels different.
Day 10: Rinse your smoothie glasses before putting them in the sink. Seriously. It saves marriages.
Day 11: Momentum has kicked in and is carrying us at this point. It feels awesome! I don’t care if it’s all in my head—I’m actually looking forward to my afternoon green drinks and they’re getting easier and easier to guzzle. Particularly motivating? My picky 2-year-old son drinks them sometimes, too. Through trial and error I’ve discovered that he needs a high ratio of strawberries to “Everything Else” and I need to add more water or juice so that it’s thinner. He doesn’t do thick. It also helps if he drinks it while watching something Pixar related on TV, but that’s a separate issue. He’s drinking kale. He can watch the entire movie and the deleted scenes. And while I’m at it, let me add this affiliated toy to my online shopping cart.
Day 16: I’ve learned that certain fruits will impart creaminess; bananas, peaches, nectarines, apricots, papayas, and of course avocado. That helps the smoothies function as a complete snack, for me. It’s kind of like drinking a small, bonus meal. The plan I’m quasi-following is super-simple: liquid, big handful of greens, and 1-2 fruits, at least one of them frozen. It doesn’t ask for a teaspoon of this or a scoop of that. For me, that’s huge. As you know, I hate measuring things and the fewer ingredients, the more sustainable this plan is in the long haul.
Day 26: Accountability has been a huge component of this green voyage I’ve undertaken. Every day my sister and I each text a picture of our smoothie. Ready for some real talk? You can make yourself look and feel healthier, psychologically speaking, by doing two things: 1.) snap your daily photo of your smoothie pre-blended—it makes it look like so much more. Plus smoothies, all blended and, well, smooth, kind of all look the same; 2.) use a filter. I used the “Chrome” filter on my iPhone. I know it sounds stupid, but it makes everything appear so much more vibrant and green and healthy, which hey, is what this is all about.
Day 30: I’m not gonna lie—my sister and I are both shocked that we made it to Day 30. To go from a couple of fruits and vegetables per day, max, to adding in a tall pint glass of pureed goodness day after day after day, it feels fantastic. Physically, sure, but the psychological benefit of this endeavor is much more profound. Firstly, I learned that I can do something 30 times in a row. Who knew. Secondly, I realized that consuming bright colors invigorates a person. It’s the plants’ phytochemicals that give them their vibrant colors, and each bright color signifies a different set of health benefits. Processing foods (this includes cooking them) causes phytochemical degradation. Think about it: there aren’t many foods that become brighter the longer you cook them. How exactly this impacts the nutritional benefits of every fruit and vegetable I eat or drink, I’m not sure; I’m a writer, not a scientist. So for that reason I will just stay in my wheelhouse and write about how I feel after completing this 30-day green smoothie challenge. Good. Efficient. Grateful. Green.
