It’s a quiet Saturday night. My kid is in bed, and my husband is obliterating zombies in his man cave. All’s quiet on the western front, except for one place: LOHS.
Ladies of Holly Springs, or LOHS as it is known, is a wildly popular Facebook page of some 4,800 members. On this particular night, there’s a passionate debate about the newest restaurant in town, and whether the delicious fare is worth the wait time. Other nights, or days, there are other debates to be had. It might be the good old fashioned “drama” that some find appealing about this page, but for many others, myself included, it’s the advice, recommendations, encouragement, expertise, and selflessness that draws me to LOHS when I need the name of a reputable dishwasher repair company or ideas for where to take my toddler to wear him out.
LOHS founder, Dorrie Buccafusca, is a New Jersey native who wonders if she was a southerner in a previous life. “The ‘y’all’ comes way too naturally for me,” she explains. Like many others, Buccafusca was drawn to this area due to its reputation for being family-oriented (she has five children). And what prompted her to start the Facebook page less than two years ago? The need for a hairdresser. Buccafusca found plenty of local Buy/Sell/Trade sites but no real place to ask about where to get an expert cut and color, what pediatricians came highly recommended, or where to grab an out-of-this-world slice of pizza. “It really was a case of see a need, fill a need,” she says.
The “see a need, fill a need” philosophy extends beyond Buccafusca, and to many members of LOHS. Throughout the years and especially over the holidays, the LOHS have banded together to help individuals and families in need, be it by donating toys, beds, food, or even simply time. One of the sweetest stories I’ve seen unfold on the page happened this past November. LOHS member Jill Fuller posted about her father, Harry Fuller, who resides at a local assisted living facility and is in the early stages of dementia. He’d been feeling down, so she posted his phone number and invited ladies to call him and wish him a happy 87th birthday. The response was overwhelming; over 30 women called, and some even sang Happy Birthday to him. The post garnered a whopping 140 likes and 77 comments. When Mr. Fuller answered his phone and asked with whom he was speaking, most said simply that they were friends of Jill’s. But make no mistake: these were, by definition, complete strangers. It turned out to be a fantastic day for Mr. Fuller, culminating in a celebratory dinner with his daughter. Weeks later, an inspired member of LOHS got dozens from her church together and they all visited him and others living at the facility. The group has been there twice now, Fuller says. It’s a community response that has brought her to tears.
In another inspiring story, LOHS member Becky Lewis has a 6-year-old son with autism who participates in therapeutic horseback riding. When the farm changed its policy last spring and told Lewis she needed to find her son a volunteer to work with him, she turned to LOHS. A fellow member connected Lewis with her high school daughter who freely donated her time to help. Lewis says the young lady was remarkably mature and responsible, and her volunteering touched the hearts of everyone in the family. She completed a volunteer training program and ended up helping Lewis’ son for ten weeks. LOHS kept him in the program, one that he really loves and benefits from a great deal.
There are countless other ways members of our community have helped and been helped by the LOHS page. The network really is incredible. One member told me the story of how she came to realize she suffered from hypothyroidism. When she posted her symptoms members of LOHS detailed their own experiences and connected her with the doctor that ultimately issued her a proper diagnosis. “How many people can say a Facebook page changed their life?” she asks. Another member took to LOHS when her son was diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome, a neuro-genetic disorder that occurs in one in 15,000 live births. Someone from LOHS tuned her into existing support groups, ones which she says she could not live without. And then there are the stories of all the connections that are made nearly every day on LOHS, from unemployed people locating professional contacts to a teenage girl finding her niche in the Holly Springs Winter Guard.
Certainly, it’s not always roses in LOHS, or any online forum for that matter. Any time you have a group of that size, Buccafusca says, differences of opinion are inevitable. Those differences, though, are what make our town so awesome. “I try to view minor conflicts that happen from time to time as opportunities for people to grow and learn, explore new ideals and perhaps gain an appreciation of realities that are different from our own,” she says. And perhaps what keeps her going are the times she’s seen the ladies join forces to accomplish something truly great. “They’ve headed up fundraisers and clothing drives, participated in our own LOHS Random Acts of Kindness Week, and have helped support and grow local businesses. I am honored to be associated with such a positive and passionate group.”
When LOHS founder Buccafusca isn’t overseeing the LOHS community she paints and refinishes furniture, documenting it all on her blog, Simple Southern Charm. In describing her design aesthetic, Buccafusca explains, “Clean lines and near perfection are all fine and dandy, but it’s the stuff with dents, dings and imperfections that really inspires me.” This attitude is reflected on the LOHS page; as the administrator, Buccafusca isn’t heavy-handed. The mere fact that the page is always humming with traffic and that the occasional debates do pop up speak to the fact that most of the near 5,000 members find it to be a forum worthy of their time. Is it perfect? No. “Listen,” Buccafusca says. “I deal in reality—well, most of the time—and the truth of the matter is there are some not so perfect things about the page. None of us is perfect though. It’s about embracing the imperfection, setting it aside and coming together as a community of strong women to support each other when it matters most.”
As for all the daily activity on the page, one member jokes, “Who needs Google when you have LOHS?” and it’s true—many of the queries found on the page could be answered with a simple Google search, but one wonders, why is it that people choose to pose their questions to the Ladies of Holly Springs instead of typing some keywords into a search engine? I never fully understood until I found myself doing just that; my pet was sick late one night and I needed to rush him to the nearest pet ER. I was frantic and for me, the easiest course of action was to post on LOHS. Within a minute I got several responses and was on my way, cat carrier in tow. Not only that, I had ladies asking for updates and posting smiley emoticons when I followed up that he was fine. Never would I have expected to feel such a sense of community from my neighbors—online.
What is the future of LOHS? While Facebook continues to serve the group well as a social media platform, Buccafusca plans to expand it into an actual website. It’s still in the very early stages, but the hope is that LOHS will become a destination page, serving as a resource and centralized location for all things local: events, school happenings, reviews, classifieds, local business highlights, as well as an area to have more focused engagement for LOHS members. This, and more, is what’s on the horizon for LOHS.
